An Important Message Alert to All the Exhausted Parents!

Have you, as a parent, ever felt so exhausted that you just want to … explode? It caught me off guard, the other day, but my cup wasn’t just full, it was actually overflowing until it … exploded! … and I became – “cup-less”! (A feeling way worse than forgetting to insert bra-cups into your bra once you left the house!)

So … if you experience any of these signs, you must immediately pack your bags and go on a retreat!

(Just don’t forget to leave your kids at home with a grandma!).

THE SIGNS:

1 OVERFLOWING CUP. (yes I’m still talking about The cup being full. Not the “lady cup” … (damn, we have so many cups to deal with as women)!)

2 SNAPPING. What, me? Yes! I began to snap at various things in my every day life. Most of these things included: non-stop requests for snacks, treats, tea, chess, theatrical performances … stepping on random toys laying around, burning another pot etc etc…  A random passerby who didn’t know that this was an unusual behaviour for me, would probably call me – Olya The Snapping Mom. A German passerby might even try – Olga Die Schnappende Mutter. Ugh!

3 LETTING GO OF SMALL THINGS (in other words, caring less). Sophie got a smear of peanut butter on her cheek? Ok, let it be there. Yes, even when we go outdoors. Chloe is putting on her shoes without socks? Fine. Let her experience blisters. Sophie doesn’t want me to brush her teeth after one and only offer? Ok, I won’t then. … you see – I turned into a Bad Mom!

Other signs might include and are not limited to: eating too much chocolate, laughing randomly at nothing, repeatedly asking “what? Can you please repeat that again?” to something simple as “Olya, can you please wipe the floor?” …

So, I decided to swallow a Self-Love pill, pack my bags and my husband, and go on a 4-day cottage retreat, without the kids!

And this is what I did during the four days of my rejuvenation retreat:

SLEEP: I slept, slept and zzzzlept some more … with no interruptions whatsoever! No one entered my bedroom in the middle of the night to ask me to remove a booger (thank goodness, for that would be scary!). And no one woke me up at the break of dawn singing “The sun is out! Is it time to wake up?”

FOREST BATHING: Walking/hiking and forest bathing first thing upon waking. No, no, I was still wearing clothes!

MEDITATION: I sat in the boat (attached to the deck) and stared at the peaceful lake for hours … until my husband came over after having realized I was away for too long and needed a hand getting out.

INTERMITTENT FASTING: I did an intermittent fasting  between each dinner and breakfast … just because it felt so good … oh, and because I didn’t bring enough breakfast food.

CLEAN EATING. Normally on vacation I like to indulge in food. Not this time. I wanted to rejuvenate myself inside out and, hence, only eat the best foods that are truly nourishing. And I did …

But then, uhm, the Naughty & Nice sides of me argued whether dark chocolate should be on my Clean or Dirty eating list. At the end the Nice side won. So, I gave away my entire stack of chocolate to my husband and said: “you can do anything you like with it. Eat or throw it in the garbage. But if you go the garbage route – make sure I won’t be able to find and eat it later!” … (but then the Naughty side of me found a home-made chocolate chip cookie that the Nice side brought for her husband, and devoured it quietly in the kitchen corner. The Nice side forgave the Naughty).

SMILED AT STRANGERS: I waved and smiled at the passing by cars on the road (you kinda have to at the cottage country anyway). It was a bummer though that most of the drivers were looking the other way, admiring the lake side of the trail, so I waved and smiled at their back-heads, jumping out of their way before they would accidently hit me.

RISK-FREE CHESS: I gave myself entire four days to play chess whenever I was in the mood, RISK-FREE! Usually, whenever I manage to sneak a game of chess at home, I play a rapid game online (1). But not only do I have to worry about the time-controls (and hence losing by time), I also have to worry about one of my kids sneaking up behind me and starting to frantically move the chess pieces on the screen for me! A guaranteed loss!

Not this time babe!  And look at how my chess rating has skyrocketed! (It went from 1700+ to 1995! (Referece 2). This rating is as of Sept 14, 2020). Yes, this time MomOnaBreak got a true break!

DANCE: I signed up for a Bollywood dance workout – BollyX (2) and had a complete blast! Although after a while I felt like I was re-enacting a scene from a street fight, or I was riding a horse, praying to God, or was in a club trying to slap someone’s cute butt.

LEARNED EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AFGAN AND INDIAN MAFIA, DRUG TRAFFICING AND BLACK MARKETS: All thanks to the lovely novel – “Shantaram” by Gregory David Roberts. … In all seriousness, it is a great read and I highly recommend it!

BOAT RIDE: There is no faster way to clear up your brains than having a constant cold gust of wind blow through your nostrils at 30 miles/hr. This really freezes my brain, and helps it let go of all thoughts. Total zen!

SNUGGLING: snuggled next to my most favourite man in the entire world – my husband. If it wasn’t for him … I wouldn’t be a mom. And then … I wouldn’t need this break either …

The Result?

One happy and refreshed mom!

EPILOGUE

So how does a mom like me, or like you, can get into this mess in the first place, you might wonder? Well I will primarily blame COVID-19 (so it’s not my fault!) and self-ignorance (ok, it is my fault)!

COVID-19: When the lockdown first happened in March of 2020, I immediately began to home-school my two little girls (3 and 6). It went so well, that they requested to continue home-schooling in the summer way after the schools got officially closed. And so we did. All.Summer.Long. (Oh, but we had so much fun!)

COVID-19 Again: With COVID-19 still circulating around in the summer, I decided NOT to sign up my girls for any summer camps. Hence, I spent 24/7 with them. With NO break!

CAUGHT UP IN A ROUTINE: Yes, I got caught up in a daily routine of doing everything kid-related and beyond. It never even occurred to me that my husband, for example, could put the kids to bed by himself (without me!), while I could, say, take a bath! Duh!

IGNORING THE WARNING SIGNS: I knew I was tired by the time summer came … but what a mom to do? I just kept on going, filling up my cup more and more. Huge mistake! Dear readers, if you got this far – please take a break and show yourself some love. It will benefit not only you but your entire family!

Love,

Olya

REFERENCES

1. In rapid chess, you have a short time control to play entire game and you can lose by time if you run out of time, even though you might have been winning otherwise. I like to play 10 minute games. Tough luck if I get into time trouble.

2. Chess ratings are assigned to players depending on the games they win, lose or draw and their opponent’s rating. It goes something like this:
Beginners < 1200
Intermediate 1200 – 1600
Advanced 1600 – 2000
Experts or masters candidates 2000 – 2200
Masters 2200 – 2400
Grandmasters and top world players 2400+

3. BollyX is a great aerobic Bollywood dance type workout. I am not affiliated with this program, but I love it and I highly recommend it if you’re into that stuff.