Chasing Trophies
I am writing this memoir because I wish somebody had written it for me when I was 17 years old. I’d like to put things in perspective on unnecessary sacrifices we sometimes make in order to achieve our dreams.
On a hot, hot Saturday morning in July, when I was just 17 a years old, one of my friends called and asked me to come join her, and some other friends, on a mini day-trip to a nearby lake. At the time, I was a competitive chess player, with my eyes set on winning trophies. Oh, how I liked to collect them like candies.
So, almost instinctively, I said “I can’t, thanks though. I am preparing for a chess tournament.” Chess tournament that, in retrospect, didn’t matter in my life at all. It wasn’t Canadian nationals, nor a Grand Prix. It was just a local Toronto Open and I simply wanted to hone my chess skills in order to potentially win something bigger later.
Well, I must have taken the story of Three Little Piggies a little too seriously: “I will build my brick house now and play later.” But I wasn’t just saying “no” to a day trip to the lake. I was closing my doors to friendships, networking and, most importantly, life itself. Life beyond the 64 black and white squares. And it wasn’t obvious at the time.
I ended up spending that afternoon biking, as I was too tired to pursue my chess studies. Should have taken that trip and relaxed my mind after-all! The brain is always more efficient when the head is clear.
Now fast forward 8 years later. I am 25 years old, and recently single. It’s a hot, hot Saturday day in July and I find myself all alone in my apartment. “Aaaall Byyy MyyyyyseeEelf” … That group of friends from 8 years ago have now moved on with their friendships, while I said “no” too many times. Woops!
It also didn’t help that I was studying in a university out of town for the past 5 years and the Facebook was just being rolled out.
My other close friends that I managed to keep in touch with, were either away for the summer, moved into different cities, or were pursuing their new, romantic relationships, head over heals.
And so, on that one hot summer day, it occurred to me, for the first time, that life is not just about “winning trophies” and “building brick houses”. Neither does it require to sacrifice valuable friendships, or health, or anything else. It is very possible to achieve your dreams and great results, while, at the same time, cultivating friendships, maintaining your health, and leading a balanced life, among many other things. But it’s easy to forget these things and, especially, in today’s competitive and demanding world.
I see it with my own eyes, how a lot of us, no matter of age, (and myself included at times), close the doors to something wonderful, and sometimes even significant, because we are so focused on our goals and pursuits thereof.
So … sometimes, we just need to zero out from your goals and look at our life in a holistic way. What truly matters to your today? And in ten and twenty years from now? And, when you are on your death bed, do you want to be surrounded by trophies, or by loving friends and family?
Maybe now is the time to take a “frieukin break”, re-evaluate and re-balance it all. And you will, probably, go farther with your goals than you had imagined.
EPILOGUE
I have, since that day, refocused my life more towards cultivating valuable friendships and relationships. And, luckily, I met my future husband just a few months later. My social life took off once again. But, I will never forget that feeling of loneliness, for it served me a very good lesson. And, now, there is no trophy in the world, that would ever replace the precious time spent with family or friends.