Post Kids Eating Habits

It might seem not obvious, it might not even occur to you, but if you have had kids, have you ever wondered if you have also developed some unhealthy eating habits? If yes, read on. If not – you’re either a superstar, or you’re still oblivious because you are so overwhelmed with taking care of your kids (and your work perhaps) that you stopped even paying attention about what and how much goes in your mouth.

It all begins with pregnancy: you’re pregnant – you eat for two. Then you are breastfeeding and/or are a walking zombie – you eat for three! And all of this is healthy and normal. You should be eating a lot and frequently.

But then this happens: Your children become toddlers, the breastfeeding phase is a thing of the past, and yet you continue to indulge in food the same way as when you were pregnant or breastfeeding, perhaps slightly in smaller quantities. Why?

-Your little one keeps you up all night and what do you do the following day? You overeat to compensate for the lack of sleep. Or you eat something unhealthy or consume 10 coffees or Red Bulls.

-Your kid throws a tantrum while you’re in the kitchen cleaning up and you automatically binge eat while your kid is screaming as if to buy some time to assess your stress levels, emotions and how to respond.

-You are about to face another daily bed-time routine struggle which will be met with a lot of resistance and will require a lot of creative effort and maneuvering on your part, and you’re exhausted and just want to take a bath … at least once a month… but no … so what do you do? You binge eat again as if to delay the routine until you can delay no more …  Or you’re trying to infuse yourself with more energy for this last.final.push of the day. This is hard.

-Your kids are fighting, pulling each other’s hair and you want to cry because you can’t watch them hurt each other and how do you soothe yourself? Food! Comfort food! (If you’ve mastered taking deep breaths and doing mediation, kudos to you. As for me, food is the easier but more evil solution).

-Or, you simply forgot that you’re not longer pregnant or breastfeeding and simply don’t need all this food. It’s been a long 1, 2, 5 or 10 year – phase (if you had multiple children) and you’re eating on autopilot now.

Sh*t … the list of reasons goes on and on. My children are now 2 and 5 … and maybe in a few years bed time will become easier, fighting will cease, I will feel more calm … but then my children will become teenagers!! Hello new worries, hello sleepless nights again … The reasons to turn to comfort food will never, ever end.

You will always be a mom and, thus, will always have worries, will always require extra energy, will always have disturbed sleep (one way or another).  The bad eating habits can go on forever, unless we do something about it NOW. Today. This is gotta stop!

It’s also possible that you’re on the other end of the spectrum. You’re obsessed with your looks and whether your post-partum belly looking flat again. So you don’t eat! Like ever! You eat just enough to stay alive and look good, but are you nourished? Are you healthy? Are you giving up healthy food groups?

I am on the over-eat and binge eat spectrum, despite looking skinny (except for the evening appearance of my mommy tummy) and so in this post I will address this issue as it is so personal to me. (note: I’ve tried to eating less naturally by doing intermittent fasting but I started to lose weight and didn’t find it healthy for my body type).

So, after spending the last five years being either pregnant or breastfeeding (I have two children and breastfed both of them for a very long time), I have developed quite an appetite. I ate like a champ! Huge breakfast, even bigger lunch and dinner and 2 snacks a day. Healthy foods, I told myself, but quantities – not so. Even my family commented on how large my food portions have always been. And for some reason, why am I the only person who always gets up after dinner to go get seconds?

So, now that I am aware of my eating habits, and if you can identify with me, let’s dive in and figure out what’s really going on here and how can we put an end to this.

Tackling Emotional Hunger

When we begin to eat compulsively, binge eating, or snacking on something when we’re not hungry, let’s ask ourselves:

• What am I really hungry for? Do I need more food and nutrients in my body, more energy, or am I hungry for something else, like comfort, belonging, or rest? Am I in distress (no matter how big or small it is)? If it’s not more energy or nutrients that you need, perhaps you are snacking on something because your child is throwing a tantrum and you need to comfort yourself before you can proceed and comfort your child.

• Are you emotionally hungry? Perhaps you are exhausted, or sad, or upset about something. And you are reaching out for that piece of chocolate to comfort yourself. But will you regret having it after you’ve consumed it? Will it cause you to be more upset and reach out for more unhealthy foods, or just more foods than your body really needs? If no, then there’s no problem. But if yes – pause. Pause and reflect on your emotional state. Will mediation, or a brisk walk, or five minute rest be a better solution to your hunger? Ask again – are you hungry physically or emotionally?

• Practice Intuitive Eating. Listen to your body and give it the foods it’s asking for. And I mean big item healthy foods, such as veggies, fruits, meat, beans, whole grains, etc. Your body knows best. Sometimes I plan to have a vegetarian meal for dinner but when dinner time comes, my body is craving something more substantial like chicken or fish. If it’s not too inconvenient for me, I would change my dinner plans and go with what my body is asking for. You have to practice listening to your physical hunger cues and once you learn to fulfill them properly, you will feel healthier, have more energy and be more satisfied. But be careful not to be fooled when your body is asking for something unhealthy. In such cases, look for healthier alternatives.

These are all important considerations and we need to gain awareness of these things. Without awareness, we will feed ourselves ill. From my experience, once I started paying attention to my hunger cues and observing myself each time I reach out for chocolate or extra snacks, I realized that a lot of times I was not hungry for food at all. I was hungry for comfort and rest, or something else. I needed extra emotional nourishment that I couldn’t get elsewhere, so I reached out to food to satisfy this craving.

Now that I am aware of the times when I’m reaching out for food simply because of an emotional need, I try to fulfill that void with:

              -Five minute breathing and relaxation session, or a quick meditation

              -Distracting myself by playing a quick piano tune or reading a magazine

              -Pausing and simply overserving the scene in front of me. I often pause and just watch my kids.

I’ve seen a lot of improvement in my eating habits since I became aware. I no longer overeat or stuff myself full until I’m about to pop like a balloon.

How to stop unhealthy food cravings

Time to time, or for some, all the time, we experience (unhealthy) food cravings. If it’s something you desire to overcome, then read my tips below.

Firstly, tune in with yourself and ask – Am I craving something out of a:

-Habit

-Nutritional need

-Inspiration

-All of the above

Once you can answer the above question, then use these strategies to overcome the craving. I will use “chocolate” as an example.

Habit

If you are craving something daily after a meal, say after lunch or even after every meal, then ask yourself: Do I want this food because I always have it after my meal? If the answer is ‘yes’, then you are most likely craving it out of a habit. You are so used to always having that chocolate bar after your lunch that your body and taste buds expect it. Now, you want to break this habit. Try these tips:

• Can you go on without having the chocolate? Pause and give yourself 15-20 mins and see if you still crave it after that time. Distract yourself with work, house chores, a book etc. If after 15-20 mins you still crave it, then see if you can:

• Create a new habit. What can you do or eat to break the habit? Maybe pick up a quick hobby, such crossword puzzle and spend 5 minutes after your meal focusing on that. Good for your brain, good for your body (i.e. you’re not putting that bad stuff into your body).

• Find a substitute food. In the chocolate example, find something else that is sweet and healthy like fruit. Drink a cup of green or black tea with some butter or MCT oil. It will give you the caffeine and fat that you would expect to get from chocolate.

• Brush your teeth. Once you do that, you may not want anything else, given the effort you put into brushing your teeth. This could also be your new healthy habit.

• Ask yourself – is this just a thought that came to your mind? Do you really need to go off and fulfill that thought/wish right away? You have many thoughts/wishes throughout the day – do you go on and fulfill them all, all the time? If you wish to have a new car – do you go and buy one immediately? Same with cravings. It’s just a thought plus a little tickle in your tummy perhaps. See if you can let it pass, like the thought of buying a car.

• Exercise your will power! All of this will take strength and patience. Prioritize what is more important to you: healthy body and free, food-independent mind or to being a slave to your cravings and your habits?

Nutritional Need

If you are craving something out of the blue, this could be because your body lacks a nutrient and needs something to fulfill that void. Ask yourself – what do I need? Do I eat enough Calcium, Iron, Zinc etc ? Sometimes, it’s hard to tell, so do your best. Once you figure it out, see if you can fulfill this with a healthy food option.

But what if you are craving chocolate? Thenask yourself – what do I get out of eating chocolate? Break down the ingredients of the food you are craving and visualize them.From chocolate, you get caffeine, fat and sugar rush; i.e. you get a quick ‘pick-me-up’ boost. So what you are really craving is a ‘pick-me-up’ boost. Aha! Now that you know that – find alternative ways to fulfill this craving. As in example above, drink black tea (caffeine) with butter or MCT oil (fat) and munch of a fruit (sugar). Or go on and have sex with your partner! Maybe that’s all you really need.

Quick hack: if you are craving sugar, you most likely need an energy boost. Try doing 20 jumping jacks and get your heart going. Or take deep breaths to get more oxygen into your brain.

Another trick – visualize the ingredients that go into that chocolate cake you’ve been craving so much: Processed flour, sugar, egg whites, artificial sweetener … Ask yourself – do you really want to put THAT in your body? This might be just enough to turn you off!

Inspiration

Are you craving something that you recently saw in the food market or a picture of it on a food blog or magazine? You’ve seen it with your eyes and you started to salivate. Well, in this case ask yourself – can I have a little bite?

If yes, perhaps no harm is done and you don’t need to put any effort into getting rid of the craving.

If no, then:

1. Try the tricks under the Habit and Nutritional Need sections above.
2. Avoid looking at such food in the future. Don’t browse Pintarest for delicious “healthy” chocolate cake recipes. Skip the Cake section at the grocery store. Don’t even come close so that you won’t smell that delicious aroma.

And remember to always breath. Take a few deep breaths and see if the craving passes on its own. Exercise your will power!